Here I am, mired in emotional anguish.  Just got off the phone with my mom and she told me to go to a doctor and get put on some meds.  I tell you, I am this damn close to admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital.
I told her that meds don’t help.  There is no easy band aid for emotional pain.  No stitches, no staples, no glue.  Nothing.  Not a fucking thing!

Found out today that the other woman removed me from her friends list on Facebook.  After all the crooked shit I have done, this hurts the most.  It feels like I am fifteen all over again and lost my first girlfriend.  It feels like there is a gigantic hole in my chest where my once beating heart use to be.

My wife never listened to me.  But now she is ready to?   Too late.  I have taken back the heart I gave her and locked it away in a cluttered and cavernous vault.  I’m not even certain that I could find it.

I wish that could take hard rock music

Play it as loud as it will go

Drown out my thoughts

Drown out my sorrow

Now, I see why people get sucked into extramaraital affairs so easily.  They are looking for acceptance, if only for a little while; someone that isn’t going to nitpick every little thing they do wrong-someone to numb the pain.

-Graveyard Night

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2 thoughts on “This Fucking Hurts

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