I went to see the other woman last after work. And I belive that in my last post, I said that she had told her mom that we had sex. She said at the time that her mom wasn’t mad or anything. I am pressed to believe that was a lie.
When her mom came walking up us, she introduced us and I said hello. And while she didn’t cuss me out, her words were not kind. She then told her daughter to head inside the house. I was astounded at how quickly she abandoned me; no word in my defense-no saying, “but, mom. I came onto him first.”
I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t say a word. I simply got into my car and left. From the mother’s words, I can gather that she had only heard part of the story; her daughter is an innocent girl, ‘in love’ with a married man who keeps dragging her along, and I am a piece of shit bastard.
You may be reading this and perhaps you are thinking the same thing. I share your sentiment.
If I am right and the mom has only heard part of the story, then it’s just a repeat of my wife. Too many times too numerous to count, my wife has told my family dirty stories about me. I would walk in the door and immediately get caught up in a whirlwind of a royal ass chewing. And in the middle of the firestorm, I would say, “now, wait a minute…”. And the story would change in my favor.
Like I said on my previous blog, society looks down on a man that cheats. It doesn’t matter one damn bit that perhaps his wife is a bitch and treats him like shit. It doesn’t matter that she makes immasculating comments about him to his face and to others.
Or, perhaps the man is like me. For years, I have poured myself into my wife and children, and all I have gotten in return is condescension and cynicism. For years, I have tried being a wife and husband, mother and father. I’m still convinced that my wife was hoping that the ex con she tried to sell me out to would either beat my ass when I left for work at night, or kill me.
In short: I have felt like I have had a daughter and not a wife.
Like I said, in society, men are held to a higher standard when it comes to cheating. But women…they’re treated with more leniency, and some view it as sexy. Pastors will stand on a pulpit and beat the living hell out of men, but women skate right on by.
If a married man cheats, it’s all his fault. Never mind how he is treated at hom. Never mind the woman that seduced him. He is the scum of the earth. If it was her intent for her mom to go off on me like that, then her mission was accomplished. If it was her plan to make me feel like scum-consider it mission accomplished.
I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of not being happy. I’m tired of not having a moments peace of mind. I’m tired of living.
I don’t think that I have ever felt so low.