My wife and I have never had what you would call a “nourishing or fulfilling” relationship.  It has been contentious and volatile.

In my previous post, I wrote about a woman at work that had a crush on me.  I went into it headlong and with my guard down.  What started out as flirtatious conversations, went to sex talk, to nude pics, then kissing, and then sex.  I will write about that night earlier this week at a later date.

It wasn’t long into our talking that she tried to prompt me to leave my wife and kids.  After many times of trying to explain to her that it isn’t as easy as one can make it sound, I soon became exhausted of it.  At times, I thought that I was free of her-could withstand her advances-but now I see how easily one can get sucked into an adulterous affair.

Today, she told me that she was cutting me loose; that she realizes that I am not going to leave my wife and kids.  No more kissing, hugs, pics or sex.  Probably for the better, but it feels like I have a hundred foot sink-hole in the middle of my heart.

The depression has returned, and with it, the nagging questions of what is the point of living?  Tonight, I went to the store, and was so tempted to leave the car and walk.

Where is Mark and Nikki of Sluts and Soulmates when you need them?

-Graveyard Night

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